I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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