i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
