your thong is hanging out like whoa
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
