Just cropdusted the office
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
