I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
