If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
