So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize