CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
