Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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