YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
