Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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