i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Michael Bay diarrhea
there was a trapeze. enough said
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
