i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
