What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
nutella sex= disaster
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
