if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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