this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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