i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize