They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
