She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
this boner is exhausting
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
