Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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