Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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