You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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