I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
