is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
