I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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