THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
