Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
