She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
