Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize