I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
