What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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