Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
