Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
