i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
