God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
