why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize