I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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