I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
