Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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