it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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