thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
