i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
