standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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