So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
