It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
