A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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