why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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