Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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