I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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