I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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