how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
