ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
