oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
