My nipple is on Facebook.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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