sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
