i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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