i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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