I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
