It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm just crazy horny about you
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
