I'm so fucking centered right now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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