That reminds me...we need to get swords
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize