The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
