I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
